Life to live and explore

The computer addicts and the housework idiots

My landlady Mrs K came to collect rental and we chatted a bit. She was telling me about her daughter who is 20, studying in college and comes back during the weekend. She is going to fly to NZ to further her study in two months time.

Mrs K complained to me about her daughter, that she doesn’t do her laundry everyday and spend too much time online. It almost sounds like she was talking about me, and she sounds so much like my mother. LOL

My mother until today grumbles about me doing laundry once a week. She cannot stand the dirty laundry get accumulated until one whole basket. She likes to clear the laundry basket and do her laundry everyday. I tried to convinced her that it saves water and thus more environmentally friendly to have one whole load instead of washing a few pieces of garments everyday. But, she calls that laziness like Mrs K. :-)

It’s hard for people like Mrs K and my mother to understand why people spend so much time in front of the computer. My dad used to grumble about that too, until he himself got hook on the internet and now he sees him downloading all sort of stuffs from torrents. He is more expert than anyone of us when it comes to torrent.

However, my mother has learned to accept the fact that computer is just like television, people get addicted to it. She is alright with me getting online now as she knows I am working, not just socializing or solely for entertainment.

Buying a laptop

We have wanted to get a new laptop for a couple of months now. Finally we can get it next month. We did not want to pay with credit card as or do a 0 balance transfer later. We also did not want to touch the saving for emergency fund. So, we waited to have enough cash in hand to buy the new laptop.

It’s going to be funded from the money made from writing paid posts. We are hoping with a newer and faster laptop, work can be done more efficiently. The current computer that we have is two years old. Though it functions perfectly, it’s a bit slow, especially when required to open multiple tabs or windows, it often cannot cope with the multi-tasking and hang on us.

Happy happy news

Happy news, this blog is getting a PR1 during the recent update. I thought Granny G was playing a practical joke on me. This blog hardly have any traffics and it’s so new, the links are far and between as well. But, since granny G decided that it’s worth ranking it, then I would spend more time here.:-)

Will try to get this blog into a few networks. I know some of my friends who have multiple blogs usually get multiple assignments on discount Disney World tickets when the tasks come out or assigned. Hurray, let’s hope that granny G would not come smacking on this blog!

To start a happy blog

This blog sounds so gloomy and sad all the time, today I have decided that it’s time for me to cheer up and start to live up to the name of the blog - to live and to explore. How can I be such a gloomy explorer? LOL

Come on, cheer up! Do not let things or people affect your cheerfulness !

Chronic tiredness

How I wished this extreme tiredness is just a phase and it will go away soon. I have been feeling so tired for the past few days. I thought it was because of sleep deprivation, but I just took three hours of nap yesterday, I am still feeling tired. It’s hard to believe that age is finally catching up with me. I shouldn’t complaint hubby slept too much and how I could function with less sleep than him. LOL

I wonder whether it has to do with lack of physical activities and being a carbohydrate junkie. I have wanted to start some exercise regime, but the will is there, the flesh is weak. Nope, my so called exercise regime is not about lifting weight nor body building with the help of prohormones, but to get out the pairs of tennis shoes and drag my lazy bums to get out of the door for a walk every morning.

The me that I never knew

There are a lot things in me that may have stubbornly refused to change in the past, it only takes a marriage to blatantly reveal that. As iron sharpen iron, do you believe  marriage can either sharpen you into a better person or break you as a person? It’s my choice to continue to believe or not this is an opportunity to grow!

Indeed, we are not as “good” person as we would like to think. Do you experience great difficulty forgiving and are vengeful towards this very person you have married when you feel hurt? Only through life circumstances that this marriage thrown us into, we can see saw the other parts of us that we may never know.

As a mild manner person,  never in my wildest and most horrible dream that anger can go this far. All you need is seeing another person lying on the couch reading Denver magazine when you can’t even have time to breath !!

Confessions

He finally admitted that he lied to me about things. He said he wanted to lift the burden that he has been carrying on his shoulders.

Not that I didn’t know about the lies, but he just refused to admit them previously, even being pressed or cornered. When he was confronted about the lies, he either just retrieved into the cave and cut off communication or denied them to the core. I don’t know what turned things around. What kind of strong pounding turned a stubborn person to such confession?

Actually, he is too simple to create complicated lies, may be I know him too well or he is not sophisticated enough, I could usually tell when he lied. I hope this is a big step for us to move towards a relationship based on truth and built on trust.

Hurting inside

I felt so hurt inside, everything I write will be emotional, do people really want to know the real me, the weak and teary me. Haven’t been able to write anything on the other blog that people actually read. In the past few days, in fact past few weeks, I just concentrated on writing paid posts after paid posts, my heart may be hurt, with a hurt wallet, it will hurt more, won’t it?

Why it’s so frustrating, how long is this going to continue? There is just no light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it’s the time of the month that I get extremely melancholic and emotional. I felt like the whole world is collapsing on me. How long more I have to suffer for my foolish life decisions? How much more I have to carry the burden? Why is God allowing me to go through all this? Why does he has to crush me like this? Oh, god, it’s too much to bear on my own, can you carry for me?