What are we really communicating?
It sucks when arguing is the only time you get to share feelings. It’s not communication when the two most important skills i.e. talking and listening are missing in a relationship. There may always be tensions and disagreements, but staying clueless is not helping.
Couples often use topics such as money, sex or housework to fight for their deeper needs within a relationship. For example, an argument over money may really be about where the responsibility lies. Rows about housework are often about unfilled needs for respect and worth. And arguing is nearly always about feeling unloved and uncared for and deeper needs for connection and affection. I believe beneath the surface of an argument often lurks a much deeper issue, desperate to be let out and looked at - and you’ll keep on arguing until you do.
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